1 year has passed. .

It's been a year since I've been sulking over us. .
It's been a year since I've been waiting for the day for u to come home to me. .
It's been a year since everything was wonderful. .
It's been a year since u called me baby. .
It's been a year since everything was sooo close to perfect. .

However. .
It's been a year since u broke my heart. .
It's been a year since u wanted to stop the perfection. .
It's been a year since u walked away. .
It's been a year since I ever smiled so sincerely without feeling a tinge of unhappiness in me. .
It's been a year since I cry and cried a river. . .cried til' when I wanna cry, there are no tears. .
It's been a year since we were one. .

I. . .
never changed. .

I probably don't regret trying and trying again. .
Trying to make us one. .
I gave it my all. .
I never did that for anyone before. .
U're my first
U're the first
U're the first one I loved sooooo much. .
U're the first one who could hurt me soooo much too. .
I guess. . the more u care and love, the more it'll hurt. .

I looked past ur mistakes, did u look past mine?
Everyone makes mistakes and everyone deserves another chance. .
So do I. .

Sometimes, ppl ask me why I'm still stuck. .
I can't answer them. .
I don't even know why. .
Maybe it's cause I love him that much. .

My girlfriend asked me how can I stil be stuck despite being hurt over and over again. .
I don't know. .

The one thing I hope is that I can wake up from this. .
He can wake up from it and. .
We can all walk a mile in each other's shoes. .
Then, he will understand that everything I ever did. .was sincere and I really wanted it to happen. .
I in those months never did anything wrong to him. . The months he worngly assumed my sincereity. . or what it is I really wanted. .
And I. . might understand him and why he did what he did. .

I made couple of wrong turns but we all did. .
It's just a matter of making the wrong turn, the right turn. .
Forgiving is easy. . forgetting. . that's another story. .
IF u can't forget, u can't give someone another chance. .

Will that be a regret?
Is that worth it?

Food for thought. .


My regret?
Not trying harder than I did. .
Maybe one day when things settle and ur mind is clear. . u will know how much I love u and how much I will sacrifice for u. .
maybe. . just maybe..


Sorry for hurting u. . I never intended to. .
Sorry for not trying harder. .
Also. . all I ever thought of doing was to make u happy. .
U can scoff at it but that's the truth. .
(it's a secret but hey. . one leak. . everything I did was for u)


~♥ ♥ ♥~

You said that I'm tied together with a smile. . but I'm coming undone. .

Seems the only one who doesn't see your beauty
Is the face in the mirror looking back at you
You walk around here thinking you're not pretty
But that's not true, cause I know you

Hold on baby you're losing it
The water's high you're jumping in to it
And letting go and no one knows
That you cry but you don't tell anyone
That you might not be the golden one
And you're tied together with a smile but you're coming undone

Guess its true that love is all you wanted
Cause you're giving it away like it's extra change
Hoping it will end up in his pocket
But he leaves you out like a penny in the rain
Oh cause it's not his price to pay
It's not his price to pay

Hold on baby you're losing it
The water's high you're jumping in to it
And letting go and no one knows
That you cry but you don't tell anyone
That you might not be the golden one
And you're tied together with a smile but you're coming undone

oh oh oh oh
Hold on baby you're losing it
The water's high you're jumping in to it
And letting go and no one knows
That you cry but you don't tell anyone
That you might not be the golden one
And you're tied together with a smile but you're coming undone

oh oh oh oh
You're tied together with a smile but you're coming undone




I hate to admit it. .
You're right. .
~♥ ♥ ♥~

You're nothing but a lie. . .

I fall asleep by the telephone
It's 2 O'clock and I'm waiting up alone
Tell me where have you been?

I found a note with another name
You blow a kiss, but it just don't feel the same
Cause I can feel that you're gone

I can't bite my tongue forever
While you try to play it cool
You can hide behind your stories
But don't take me for a fool

You can tell me that there's nobody else
(But I feel it)
You can tell me that you're home by yourself
(But I see it)
You can look into my eyes and pretend all you want
But I know. . I knowww. .
Your love is just a lie
(Lie)
It's nothing but a lie
(Lie)

You look so innocent
But the guilt in your voice gives you away
Yeah you know what I mean

How does it feel when you kiss when you know that i trust you
Could you be more obscene?
So dont try to say you're sorry
Or try to make it right
Don't waste your breath because it's too late, it's too late.

You can tell me that there's nobody else
(But I feel it)
You can tell me that you're home by yourself
(But I see it)
You can look into my eyes and pretend all you want
But I know, I know,
Your love is just a lie
(Lie)
It's nothing but a lie
(Lie)
You're nothing but a lie

You can tell me that there's nobody else
(But I feel it)
You can tell me that you're home by yourself
(But I see it)
You can look into my eyes and pretend all you want
But I know, I know
Your love is just a lie
(Lie)
I know you're nothing but a lie
(Lie)
Lie
(Lie)
Lie
(Lie)
Lie
Your love is just a. . LIE


We agreed that the biggest mistakes I've ever made. . .
One, I fell in love with the wrong person. .
Two, I should never have trusted you. .
Three, I should have left and kept my pride before u decide to mess with it and disrespect me. .
Four, I never should've let u play me out. .
Five, I should've left before you told the whole world what a bitch I am when I'm not. . . (just to make urself look and feel better, well, maybe)
Six
Seven
Eight
Nine
Ten. .
Loving u and caring for u was my biggest mistake. .
So, stop disrespecting me even if u don't love me. .
Because it's very sinful as all I've ever done for you was sincere. .
My love is just your personal ego boost. .
Wake up and start being humane again. .

It's alright because I like the way it hurts. . .

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
That’s alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
That’s alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie. . .

I can’t tell you what it really is
I can only tell you what it feels like and right now it’s a steel knife in my windpipe
I can’t breathe but i still fight while i can fight
As long as the wrong feels right it’s like i’m in flight
High off of love drunk from my hate
It’s like I’m huffin’ paint and I love it the more I suffer, I suffocate
And right before i’m about to drown, he resuscitates me, he friggin hates me
And I love it, "wait, where you goin?"
"I’m leavin’ you"
"No you ain’t come back"
We're runnin’ right back, here we go again
So insane, cause when it’s goin’ good its goin’ great
I’m superwoman with the wind in her back
He’s Lois Lanebut when its bad its awful
I feel so ashamed I snap
"Whose that dude?"
I don’t even know him

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
That's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
That's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie. . .

You ever love somebody so much you can barely breathe
When you're with them you meet and neither one of you even know what hit them
Got that warm fuzzy feeling
Yeah them chills used to get them
Mow you’re getting frigging sick of lookin’ at them
You swore you’d never hit em, never do nothin’ to hurt them
Now you’re in each other’s face spewin’ venom in your words when you spit em
You push pull each other’s hair
Scratch claw hit em throw em down pin em
So lost in the moments when you’re in emit’s the face that’s the culprit, controls ya both
So they say it’s best to go your seperate ways
Guess that they don’t know you
Cause today that was yesterday
Yesterday is over, it’s a different day
Sound like broken records playin’ over
But you promised her next time you’ll show restraint
You don’t get another chance
Life is no nintendo game, but you lied again
Now you get to watch her leave out the window
Guess that’s why they call it window pane

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
It's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear my cry
It's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie. . .

Now I know we said things, did things, that we didn’t mean
And we fall back into the same patterns, same routine
But your temper’s just as bad as mine is
You’re the same as me when it comes to love you’re just as blinded
Baby please come back, it wasn’t you, baby it was me
Maybe our relationship isn’t as crazy as it seems
Maybe that’s what happens when a tornado meets a volcano
All I know is I love you too much to walk away though
Come inside, pick up the bags off the sidewalk
Don’t you hear sincerity in my voice when i talk?
Told you this is my fault, look me in the eyeball
Next time I’m pissed I'll aim my fist at the drywall
Next time there won’t be no next time
I apologize even though I know its lies

Today. .

is the 8th of August. .

It could be just another ordinary day for other ppl but to me. . .
The importance of the existence of today is. . indescribable. .

Whether just a same, plan old day or not. . .
I wish u. .
Happy 8th of August.

Thank u for making the 2 past 8th of August special to us.


~♥ ♥ ♥~

Love. . hurts. .

Tonight we drink to youth

And holding fast to truth

I don't want to lose what I had as a girl

My heart still has a beat

But. . love is now a feat

As common as a cold day in L.A.

Sometimes when I am alone, I wonder. .

"Is there a spell that I am under. .

Keeping me from seeing the real thing??"



Love hurts. .

But, sometimes it's a good hurt

And it feels like I'm alive

Love sings. .

When it transcends the bad things

Have a heart and try me

Cause without love. . I won't survive. .



I'm fettered and abused

I stand naked and accused

Should I surface this one "man" submarine?

I only want the truth

So, tonight we drink to youth!

I'll never lose what I had as a girl

Sometimes when I am alone, I wonder. .

"Is there a spell that I'm under. .

Keeping me from seeing the real thing??"



Love hurts. .

But, sometimes it's a good hurt

And it feels like I'm alive.

Love sings. .

When it transcends the bad things

Have a heart and try me

Cause without love. . I won't survive. . .

Just stop and stare. . .

This town is colder now, I think it's sick of us
It's time to make our move, I'm shakin off the rust
I've got my heart set on anywhere but here
I'm staring down myself, counting up the years

Steady hands, just take the wheel...
And every glance is killing me
Time to make one last appeal... for the life I lead

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're 'here' not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, can u see what I see

They're tryin to come back, all my senses push
Untie the weight bags, I never thought I could...
Steady feet, don't fail me now
Gonna run till you can't walk
But something pulls my focus out
And I'm standing down...

Stop and stareI think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're here not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, you don't need

What u need, what u need...

Stop and stareI think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be
Oh, do u see what I see...


IMY. .
~♥ ♥ ♥~

Injustice. . .

Pure domination by u guys. .
None of us had a chance to step in. .
Now u all control everything ??

Many of us have better backgrounds or at least experience. .
Just cause u all planned out everything and came in as if nothing happened, we all tested our luck. .
In the end, nobody bothered to try after seeing the same trend happen continuously. .
I'm not pissed at u. . I'm pissed at the fact u all planned it all out and strategised. . U all want to dominate everything. . U all never gave them a chance. . I seriously don't care but at least give others a chance. .

Still, u're my friend. .
I should support u. .
I'll support u. .
U came and asked me out for dinner right after that. .
I'm sorry. . At that moment I was just too pissed off. .

This injustice serves as a motivation to me. .
The rest of us can do it too !!
Let's start training!

~♥ ♥ ♥~

Is it true. .

that. .

When there's a will, there's a way?

Then. . when are u going to magically appear in front of my eyes?

~♥ ♥ ♥~